Nighttime Personalities Lampoon Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's top comedians used their airtime criticizing President Donald Trump's just unveiled visa initiative, labeled the "gold card," characterizing it as a clear cash-for-residency arrangement for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Witty Spin

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert presented a mock Christmas song directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... destroys everything he touches."

The focus was the controversial initiative that permits foreign nationals to buy U.S. residency for the price of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for five million. The program's website guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief note here to wealthy applicants: prior to you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also designed to "get cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, involving hefty payments. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you additionally get two free nights at a property of your selection – if it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"The most thorough vetting the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these people truly are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow affluent international individuals to live here," he stated. "For a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, saying it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll numbers amid financial concerns. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to address affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he remarked.